Thou Shalt Inquire.The power of persuasion lies in accessorization. With your cigarette case in hand, open to reveal both content and intent, the five golden words of opportunity:
"Do you mind if I...?"
If the answer is anything that remotely sounds like "yes", extricate yourself graciously from the attending company and enjoy your smoke à seule. (Alternatively, find more accommodating friends.)
Practice Generosity
When the answer is "No", or even better, "Please do", inquire, with generous intent, again. Extend the case. The actual question is generally unnecessary if you have the knack of the inquisitive eyebrow. If Botox has rendered you incapable of such intricate facial maneuvering, a simple "Cigarette?" will suffice.
Helpful Hint for the Hopeful: To thoroughly impress your Lady, include a number of her cigarettes in your cigarette case alongside your preferred brand.
The Light Bringer
Consider this: Before melon massage in the grocery, text messaging, and the Mile High Club, seduction was subtle, sensuous, and often accompanied by an unlighted cigarette in the slender beringed fingers of a glamourous woman. The art of flammable flirting need not be relegated to history lessons.
Again, accessorize appropriately. An attractive lighter (not paper matches or, perish the thought, a Bic - and an unadorned Zippo only if you've just crawled off your Harley, please) extended halfway to the lady (she moves toward the flame - her eyes should smoulder, her eyelashes should not), offers the opportunity for the first caress - her fingertips against your hand. If more than the lighter sends up sparks, proceed with your courting, Tiger.
The Devil Makes Me Do It
Very few things are less attractive than the furtive floundering of the apologetic smoker. By all means, be a polite smoker - the social graces should never be forgotten - but let's not be a cringing ninny about it. Unless you have inadvertently exhaled in close proximity to an infant in an iron lung, there is nothing for which you should be sorry - or ashamed. Behave accordingly.
Cigar(etiqu)ette - Smoking Etiquette for the Modern Gentleman
(Or: Don't be an ass, Henry.)
A Half Dozen Commandments for a Well-Mannered Flame
Saying Grace
Second to the post-coital cigarette, the post-prandial smoke is arguably the most enjoyable in the case. (Compared to the former, the latter generally has a greater capacity to offend, assuming your bedroom does not boast service for twelve.)
Your dining companions may order, and will likely enjoy, a well-smoked salmon. It is doubtful that they will enjoy a salmon that smokes well. Verb tense becomes surprisingly important at mealtimes.
Your best bet: Enjoy your after-dinner cigarette...after dinner.
Cigarette Case - Accoutrements
Gold Telescopic Cigarette Holder - Formal Cigarette Holders
The Papal Dispensation
The remnant of your smoking pleasure belongs in the appropriate receptacle. The street, carpet, and/or well-manicured front lawn simply will not suffice. This applies to the spent cigarette filter and, less offensively, the ashen discards.
Sadly, it is no longer 1947 and a suitable ashtray cannot always be found, in which case the well-prepared smoker will be glad of a sealing portable ashtray of either the disposable or washable variety.
Lucienne Lighters for the Gentleman - Accoutrements
Keyring Ashtray - Accoutrements
All Rights Reserved TheLadySmokes.com 2006 - 2013
It is not the responsibility of the female sex alone to safeguard the cachet of elegance, grace and gentility surrounding a much maligned pleasurable pastime.
No, fellows. Mind your manners.
(There are rewards for the well-behaved. Trust us. We know these things.)
